Why do I do this?

I seem to have this nightly routine. My kids finally go to sleep and I go online and obsess over curriculum for next year. I stay up till 12-1am and then am sleepless all night as my thoughts are overrun with what curriculum to use for next year.

Why do I do this???!!!!

So what am I doing. Its 10:43pm and I have been online for the past hour obsessing over curriculum. I figure I am good for another hour or two.

I need to stop this. I really do.

I don't obsess as much over my 5th grader as I do over my 8th/9th grader. You would think that if I made the wrong choice that they won't get into Harvard. Or college at all!

I need to get a grip.

It would be so much easier if I liked Oak Meadow better. I like Oak Meadow. The problem is that I am not sure that I love it. If I loved it I would use it for all subjects. I really like their history for my 5th grader (we use 6th grade history book) and 8th grade. I just can't decide if I love their English for 8th grade. They read a ton of books and analyze stuff which is all well and good. But their are no tests. And its just a little too unstructured for me. My 8th grader needs to be challenged a tad bit to keep her on task.

I am leaning towards University of Missouri 8th grade english. Its lots of different styles of writing (assignments) and analyzing different types of literature (mainly passages, not whole books). Plus I will assign a stack of books to be read and some kind of questions answered or paper written or something.

I just have this mental block about letting go and let someone else dictate the class. I need to get over this and move on.